wNaked News
In which my articles, poems and random thoughts will appear. See also my website at stewalbert.com


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wSaturday, December 25, 2004


My central website is http://hometown.aol.com/stewa/stew.htmlFor information on Stew Albert's new book --"Who The Hell Is Stew Albert?" go to http://www.redhen.org/stewalbert.htm or Amazon.com. If you want a signed copy get in touch with me at stewa@aol.com
All my movie reviews written during the period of my Hep C chemotherapy appear at: http://www.emptymirrorbooks.com/thirdpage/stewreviews.html
Thank you Third Page
--------------------


Dark Is The Day

Night time eclipse of light
and F. Scott Fitzgerald declared
American life wasn't generous
about great second acts,
but never mentioning the third act
of despair
if performed at all
was much too grim
for Roaring Twenties drunken joy
cause the Charleston brigade
wasn't going to live much longer
anyway,
till modern medicine
extended life and pain
without considering
longevity's
consequence or punishments.

-----

TDA 46 -- Even though Chanukah is over, at Jessica's insistence we had latkes for dinner and Judy does make the best in the world. For visitors from Planet Other, latkes are an east European Jewish version of circular fried potato pancakes. My chemo recovery seems to be, once again, marking time.

We saw Elf, it's a perfectly sweet Christmas Eve film about a human baby who crawls into Santa's bag of gifts and winds up in the North Pole where he is adopted by an old time elf. The kid is fully accepted in Santa's workshop but his great height and awkwardness makes him a very slow manufacturer of toys. So the world's tallest elf returns to New York City to find his birth father who is very rich and definitely on Santa's naughty Scrooge list. Will dad accept him? Elf, for all its charms, humor and anti greed point of view, is predictable in its story and outcome. As an appropriate American Christmas story, it will never play in the Bad Santa League.


posted by stew at 10:43 AM


wFriday, December 24, 2004


My central website is http://hometown.aol.com/stewa/stew.htmlFor information on Stew Albert's new book --"Who The Hell Is Stew Albert?" go to http://www.redhen.org/stewalbert.htm or Amazon.com. If you want a signed copy get in touch with me at stewa@aol.com
All my movie reviews written during the period of my Hep C chemotherapy appear at: http://www.emptymirrorbooks.com/thirdpage/stewreviews.html
Thank you Third Page
--------------------


It's A Gruesome Life

Announcing the Corpse-amatic!
It slices and dices
chops and grinds
producing ghastly products
in mess tent Mosul
in dead city Fallujah
on the dusty road to Baghdad.

Silent Night finds Rummy
crawling round
yon battered tents
of wounded soldiers
proving he's a contrite Scrooge.
and
there are no confirmed reports of slapping incidents.

If Ms Martha wasn't cruelly jailed
in the Christmas can
She might be saying:

Since clean water doesn't regularly flow
in Iraq,
you better be bathing in blood.
It's so fresh and plentiful.

----

TDA 45 -- We went to the Theater last night and saw a fine and funny staging of David Sedaris's one person play, The Santaland Diaries. It's all about the author's absurd and occasionally touching experiences when he worked as an elf for Macy's during the Christmas season. Truman Capote's A Christmas Memory was also performed but due to the required soft and very quiet southern accents, I couldn't hear a thing. I got into my hot tub last night for the first time in months. Skin inflammation side effects that were caused by the Hep C chemotherapy made impossible such wonderfully relaxing activity. After my bold dip was over I still did some itching and scratching but it was at a greatly reduced level.

We saw Little Shop Of Horrors. It's a wild musical remake of an earlier cult version about a plant from outer space that survives by drinking human blood and eating of its flesh. A nerdy guy named Seymour makes a Faustian deal with the plant. He agrees to supply it with very fresh food, in return the plant will grant Seymour's every wish. Naturally the hungry plant plans to take over the entire planet. What will Seymour do when it attempts to eat his girl friend? Shop Of Horrors has great sets, songs and a hilarious performance by Steve Martin as an out of control S&M dentist.


posted by stew at 11:18 AM


wThursday, December 23, 2004


My central website is http://hometown.aol.com/stewa/stew.htmlFor information on Stew Albert's new book --"Who The Hell Is Stew Albert?" go to http://www.redhen.org/stewalbert.htm or Amazon.com. If you want a signed copy get in touch with me at stewa@aol.com
All my movie reviews written during the period of my Hep C chemotherapy appear at: http://www.emptymirrorbooks.com/thirdpage/stewreviews.html
Thank you Third Page
--------------------


It's A Gruesome Life

Announcing the Corpse-amatic!
It slices and dices
chops and grinds
producing ghastly products
in mess tent Mosul
in dead city Fallujah
on the dusty road to Baghdad

if she wasn't locked in the can
for Christmas
Martha might be saying:
Since clean water doesn't regularly flow
better be bathing in blood.
It's so fresh and plentiful.

---
TDA 44 -- Judy, Jesica and me are back from Seattle and the Dylan exhibit at the Rock N' Roll Museum. It's put together very well with great photos (many blown up), lots of early Dylan momentos like something he wrote in the High School year book of a girl he had a crush on, original typed and hand edited versions of some of his great songs, a Dylan guitar, a Guthrie guitar and lots of great Dylan music. Also some nice pictures of Seegar and Ochs. The exhibit focuses on the amazing years when Dylan was possessed of magic. It was nice getting around the exhibit on my own two feet. The few times I went to museums when I was on chemotherapy I had to be pushed in a wheelchair. It was necessary but not great for my morale.

We saw The Tune, an animated mad mix of hilarious surrealism. The plot is thin and the pieces are sometimes awkwardly sewn together. A young clueless man has to write a song in 47 minutes or he will loose his job and girl friend. He hits the road and winds up in strange land where guitars come out of people's heads and everyone can write great songs because they all come from the heart. Will the young man learn to write a good song or will he check into a suicide hotel, whose animations make Heartbreak Hotel seem like a fun house? Will he get his girl? You won't care very much, because the wild drawings and their absolute lack of fixed shape or consistent rules will completely pull you in and make you very willing to forget about the plot.


posted by stew at 11:40 AM


wMonday, December 20, 2004


My central website is http://hometown.aol.com/stewa/stew.htmlFor information on Stew Albert's new book --"Who The Hell Is Stew Albert?" go to http://www.redhen.org/stewalbert.htm or Amazon.com. If you want a signed copy get in touch with me at stewa@aol.com
All my movie reviews written during the period of my Hep C chemotherapy appear at: http://www.emptymirrorbooks.com/thirdpage/stewreviews.html
Thank you Third Page
--------------------


It's A Gruesome Life

If she wasn't locked in the can
for Christmas
Martha might be saying:
Since clean water doesn't regularly flow
in Baghdad
better be bathing in blood.
It's so fresh and plentiful.

---
TDA 41 -- I'm feeling better all around. We are driving to Seattle today. We'll be visiting friends and going to the big Bob Dylan exhibit at the Rock N' Roll museum. I won't be posting any blogs here till Thursday at the latest. See you then. Be well.

Judy, Jessica and I went to an excellent Italian restaurant last night. The kind where the salad dressing compliments the seasoning on the baked clams, We came home too late for a movie but I did catch Desperate Housewives for the first time. Contrary to my fears America must be getting more democratic. Formerly only the rich were portrayed as being so decadent. Now the suburbs are shown to be freely sharing in all those guilty pleasures.


posted by stew at 10:16 AM


wSunday, December 19, 2004


My central website is http://hometown.aol.com/stewa/stew.htmlFor information on Stew Albert's new book --"Who The Hell Is Stew Albert?" go to http://www.redhen.org/stewalbert.htm or Amazon.com. If you want a signed copy get in touch with me at stewa@aol.com
All my movie reviews written during the period of my Hep C chemotherapy appear at: http://www.emptymirrorbooks.com/thirdpage/stewreviews.html
Thank you Third Page
--------------------

Silent Night

Now it can be told
by televangelists:
Notorious Grinch was patsy
for decadent culture
Hollywood Jews
who stole
Christ from Christmas
cause they hated God
and owned department stores.

Proclaiming "This land is our land"
post election Bush Christians
offering American Jews
Merry Xmas
stocking stuffer,
one way ticket to Jerusalem.

-----

TDA 40 ---- Jessica came home last night from SF filled with good spirit. My cold is winding down and my post chemo taste buds are returning to normal. As a well known gourmand I can once again eat ketchup and drink orange juice.

We saw Bad Santa, a film which definitely does not put the Christ back in Christmas. It opens with a department store Santa played by Billy Bob Thornton getting drunk at a bar, and in a disheveled version of his costume going out to a convenient ally for a good puke. At least for a while, he goes down hill from there. Santa is really a safe cracker who works only on Christmas for the purpose of robbing department stores. He is in partnership with a hot tempered and dangerous dwarf who is the brains of the gang. Thornton somehow acquires a very likable Jewish girl friend and then bonds with a lonely, shy overweight parentless rich kid who is regularly beaten by bullies. Will Santa stick to his criminal ways or will his better angels prevail? This is a dark and funny movie about an everyman loser who might finally be getting a lucky break.




posted by stew at 10:57 AM